Interesting concept isn't it? It's been on the tip of my tongue for a while now this idea. Perhaps the problem isn't that we are afraid to die but that we are afraid that we blew our one chance at living. We are resentful, angry saddened when life doesn't feel fulfilled however, we are afraid to reach for fulfillment or to perhaps even define what fulfillment is.
So let's talk a little about what is required from us in order to find a life worthy of death.
The Grief of It
You cannot be enraptured by passion, desire, purpose, or fulfillment without holding on to the grief of it all. To be able to watch good things slip through your fingers and embrace the heartbreak of it. To know that this beautifully impossible sorrow is what brings us to our knees and from there we taste the sweetness of rising once again.
The Honour of It
Have you ever sat in the stillness of nature for so long that you were able to see flowers turn their face to feel the sun? To watch birds pick through the underbrush and leave when they have had their fill. To smell the soil smell brought in by the light warm wind? Has it made you feel insignificant or just lucky? Have you, in that single chaotic moment realized how irrelevant you were to the continuation of this whole parade? That just like your first job, the work will go on without you. That you are merely able to witness life happening and that the invitation to sit and watch is an honour bestowed upon all of us every day. That we are just too caught up in our busyness to see it? Behold it and be held by it. You are witnessing life happen every day and what an honour it is to be.
The Legacy of You
Your ripple in this life matters. It matters because life matters. It matters because those that follow you will inevitably need to heal from the trauma that you could not resolve. Your job is not your legacy. The way you work is. Your success is not your legacy. Your resiliency is. No matter what you choose to do, if it comes from love rather than for love, it will be something you are proud of. That perhaps it's time to redefine what success looks like. Can you shift into the idea that being happy is more important than being special? That your mere presence here is special? You are special to the bees you plant flowers for, the children that you read to, or the great-grandchildren that hear your story is how you are special.
This is a swirly thing worthiness and it often takes a deep sense of wonder, curiosity, willingness, courage, and vulnerability to see yourself into the next step. However, I will let you in on a little secret. You will experience the sweetness in everything. You will receive gifts that perhaps in another lifetime were so easily tossed aside.
You are worthy of it all.
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